Updated: Feb 25, 2021
Not every vacation fling is destined to be a "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" sequel.
While I understand the temptation to get away from the normalcy and predictability of daily, regular-shmegular life, we have to remember not to fall head over heels in love with the experience. Just take it for what it is. I repeat: TAKE IT FOR WHAT IT IS. Just like the Good Book, add nothing to it, and take nothing away.
Now, I am not a promoter of one-night stands nor vacation hookups, I'm too much a of a germaphobe and possibly too conceited for all of that (I believe everybody ain't ready for me, nor can they handle me; I'm a goddess who not many can reach her inner courts), but I'm not judging nor am I telling you how to live your life. I've traveled with friends and associates who are about this life, and I've witnessed the various outcomes. And, I won't tell it all, but if I did... this would be a WHOLE different type of blog!
It is completely normal to have the desire to be desired. It is nothing new to the human experience to long to feel wanted and appreciated. I loved my time in Dubai, especially because the men there gave me everything I needed and more. I returned home with a glow! And for many reasons, this one included, I credit my glow-up initiation to the UAE. I was approached so many times, respectfully, by men to admire my beauty, take photos with me, and was even included in a healthy conversation about culture and relationships on the train to the mall. Baby, when I got to the mall, men were running into walls and glass windows LITERALLY gazing at me. Two almost fell into the nearby decorative waterfalls as I took some selfies outside of the mall.
Sure, we laugh at how real thirst is, but let's admit, that thirst quenches a need in our psyche. As long as you take it for what it is, this reaffirming experience can bring about a glow, a raised self-esteem, and awareness, and can help with your back to the grind mindset when you return home. The problem becomes when we try to make the situation more than what it is...
Now, don't get me wrong, finding love abroad is not impossible, but the chances of you connecting in a foreign land with your forever boo is slim--not nonexistent. I'd love it if my forever love story began something like, "I flew out of Chicago, he did too, but we didn't meet until Nigeria..." BUT... that doesn't mean I should travel and be out here thirst trapping or falling in love with locals.
Let me tell you a story...
While on a trip to a warm country, a fellow traveler decided she was having a hot girl summer because her last relationship didn't work out. She met and instantly fell head over heels in lust and infatuation with her tour guide. During this two-day whirlwind of a romance, they laid as husband and wife, she met his family and even had a few tiffs with her travel companion because the tour guide sometimes chose to sit by the friend and not her. She and her newfound foreign boo spoke of relocation and marriage plans, and the traveler almost missed her flight back home because she was with her new boo. While oceans and seas separated them, her craving for him did not cease, it seemed to intensify. She fell out with her friend over her foreign lover and then drove him away by her incessant calling and demands. She is now blocked by him, and her relationship with her friend is forever tainted. All for a vacation fling that she tried to make a real thing.
The old adages remain true: be careful how you get your love, because that may be the way you lose your love and don't expect someone to raise their standards for you if you're easy. Now, that's not to say, if this is your idea of fun, you can't go, live, and have fun. But I caution you with this warning: never go on vacation and do something that you can easily see yourself regretting. I know, we don't like to think about it, but there is life after vacation we must consider. STDs are real! Consider this: if a local sleeps with you quickly, chances are he/she will do the same to another visitor. You are worth more than the little you are willing to accept. Accept the compliments and the interest; however, smiling, saying "thank you" is payment enough. Enjoying someone's company is okay, and it does not mean you need to invite that person into your life fully. Keep it light and right (by you). I promise you, you will get the same glow alongside them warm and fuzzy feelings without giving up your warm and fuzzy :-)
Photo taken in the DR by a local. Remember, if someone takes a good shot of you, you can always say, "Send it to my email or say send it to my WhatsApp." (If you have your settings to not disclose your personal phone number; also Google Voice is still an option too!)